Who am I?

Are we losing ourselves? What does it mean to truly be me? Who am I?

I read in the book the “Screwtape Letters” that God asks us for everything: our desires, hopes, thoughts, and will to him. He then gives it all back to us and makes us more ourselves than we have ever been.

So do we lose ourselves somewhere in the mix? Do we make charades of ourselves and live in the land of the glass menagire?

It seems in the course of life that we do give ourselves away. In some areas we become slaves to our desires: “I’m going to follow my desires and my feelings because that is what’s most important to me right now.” Sometimes we follow our natural sinful desires becuase that is what is suitable to the moment not necessarily congruent to our character, however after repeatedly following this the whim of the moment becomes our character.

 In other ways we perform elaborate acts to fool the particular crowd we’re with. When we’re in church we act sanctius because that’s what we think others want to see. With a girlfriend we act strong and brave; however we think they want us to be like. With bosses and those above us we act like we’re sucessful even if the pressure is cutting at our lives.

 So in all of this where is room for me? There are so many people out there in the world living lives not their own. They are emotionally unsatisfied and empty: the broken, the down. In a way we are all like this. All of us have in some way taken on personas not of our own character.

Mostly it is becuase we live in a world of sin. Our true personality was perfect in God but the enterance of sin brought corruption to the point of changing who we even are.

 However there is hope. God tells us who we are: sons of the living God master of the universe. To God I’ve got to give it all. All of the things in my life which I’m holding back need to be offered up to him. My time, money, energy, ambitions, relationships, all of it must go. It’s then that he gives it all back transformed to a new me.

Through Christ I am able to learn who I am. Here is where fufilling satisfaction lies. Here begins the firm foundations of my life. In him I can rest knowing that he sees down to my inner being and knows me fully. There is no acting, no false faces, just me and God.